Can Hope Bring You Back To Me?
by Linnea Farhen
Summary: It's a hard task for him to forget and let go, especially if his heart remains holding on to the memories where he can still keep her alive… even though reality speaks otherwise. Yukimura/OC. 2nd of "Seasons of Sweet Memories" one-shot series *Side story to Seasons of Chances and Love 2: Perfect Love In Summer*


**Title: **Can Hope Bring You Back To Me?

**Pairing:** Yukimura/OC

**Genre: **Romance/Angst

**Rating: **K+

**Summary:** It's a hard task for him to forget and let go, especially if his heart remains holding on to the memories where he can still keep her alive… even though reality speaks otherwise.

**_Standard disclaimer applies._**

**By the way, this is the side story for "Seasons Of Chances And Love 2: Perfect Love In Summer" and somehow, I could say that this is the continuation of Yukimura-Miyako arc in the story "Perfect Love In Summer". This will be told in Yukimura's POV so it's written in first person POV. Remember about the part where Miyako saw Yukimura holding on to the old blue paper crane during Rikkaidai's water break? This side story will explain the full reason of that part and who actually is the girl that those two were talking about.**

**Just a little warning, though. You might find that girl familiar if you've read my other POT stories—including the crossover ones. And also you might fight Yukimura to be OOC in this. But even still, I hope you like this chapter.**

**NP: "Because I Miss You" by Jung Yong Hwa (only written here in its English translation for the benefit of the readers)**

**-x-x-**

Falling in love, huh? To be honest, I could only listen and imagine as to how it actually feels. At most point in my life, falling in love was something that could only cross in my mind like the passing wind. It's there but it never lasted in one place for long. It kept on blowing ever so gently but no one could see it at all. Yes, everyone could feel that mysterious and invisible wind called love.

The wind was just like love, right? But I never knew what it was really like to fall in love at all.

**_Always under exactly the same sky,_**

**_Always exactly the same day_**

However, my oblivion to love didn't remain like that for long. One ordinary morning while the flowers fully bloomed made me realize what it was really like to love. And it happened a long time ago… when I was only 10 years old. Underneath a very special _sakura_ tree was where the story of how I found love took place. I knew, at that age, I was still too young for someone to realize love… but that was the truth. At first, I couldn't believe it. And yet it happened.

But then…

This story that I considered too special was something that only one person currently knew. Okay, sratch that. Make that two. Unfortunately, Sanada wasn't among those two people who knew my precious story. In fact, no one among the Rikkaidai regulars knew about that at all.

I couldn't tell him.

I couldn't tell them.

Not this time…

Not yet…

How I hated keeping it a secret to my best friend but I was left with no choice. I couldn't bring it up just yet. I couldn't…

Why? I was scared. I was so damn scared tho blurt out this secret to anyone at all. I couldn't face the fact that they would ridicule me if I told them about it (even though I doubt they would do that). I had no desire of being called a fool if they learned the truth in any way. I'd never forgive them if they would call me or my precious memory like that…

…especially at this point…

…especially if it was about my precious memory concealed in my well-guarded secret…

**_Other than you not being here,_**

**_There's nothing different at all_**

It had been two days since Miyako visited me here in Kanagawa. I was glad she was alright despite what happened to her that nearly cost her life and that of her boyfriend Fuji Syuusuke. And I was even gladder that she came at the right time and cheered me up. After all, she knew why I was like this.

**_I just want to smile,_**

**_Want to forget everything_**

She knew why I zoned out like this once in a while… why I couldn't smile the true smile I used to show… why I kept on holding on to the memories I sealed here in my heart no matter how painful it would be for me…

And Miyako knew the very person—the very same special girl—that made me like this now…

That special girl was the one who showed me hope in the most hopeless of situations she was into…

**_Just like absolutely nothing has happened,_**

**_Smiling to live my days_**

**-x-x-**

_For the 10 year-old me, watching a __sakura__ tree along with the other flowers in full bloom had never felt so good. It told a lot—at least to me. It was standing in front of a university hospital. Apparently, it was also the hospital where one of my tennis friends was admitted. And no, it wasn't Sanada. It was another tennis friend of mine. But tennis wasn't exactly the only reason why we became friends, why we became connected. His appreciation for arts and flowers was one of them. For now, they were just the few connections I could think of. Tennis, arts, flowers—I guess for now, it was enough for a plausible reason as to why we were connected and what had actually made us friends._

_However, that particular visitation to the hospital had led me to find out another plausible connection. Of course, it was unbeknownst to me that day._

_As I was about to enter the hospital building, I halted to a stop when I noticed someone sitting underneath that large __sakura__ tree I was looking at earlier. Weird… I never saw her went there before._

_From what I could tell, it was a young girl about 7-8 years old. The one thing I immediately noticed about her was her long and jet-black hair. The wind was blowing at that time, and so her hair swayed along. The streaks of light passing through the __sakura__ tree created an effect on her hair as it shone, making them sparkle in some way. For a kid, her hair sure was glossy. She had a pale skin color which gave emphasis to her rosy pink cheeks. Or at least, that was what I thought as I continued looking at her._

_Apparently, she was busy doing something while sitting underneath the __sakura__ tree. It was probably the reason why she couldn't sense that someone was actually watching her. But it was alright, I guess. At least I could watch her like this. For a young girl, she surely held beauty that I hadn't seen in any other girls yet. Despite her innocent looks, it also appeared that she was a girl with a strong will. In a way, I could feel it even from my position._

_That was when the girl looked up (finally) from whatever she was doing and slightly raised the item she was busy constructing a while back. Paper crane? So she was making paper cranes. I didn't know if she finally noticed me or just a mere coincidence that her sapphire blue eyes landed on me—err, I mean to the spot where I was standing, I mean. But that single instance somehow made everything around me felt different. I couldn't explain it fully well to myself at all but I could tell the feeling was extremely strong. It was just one look that she gave me. She was looking at me with those innocent eyes that belonged to a beautiful and elegant child. But I didn't know why those eyes actually froze me to my spot._

_Because of that, I couldn't even stop looking at her. Now that I finally saw her face, her unique, regally princess-like beauty which I couldn't believe was actually belonged to a child like her had been more emphasized. It was a type of beauty that I couldn't stop looking at over and over. But her sweet and gentle smile was what literally took my breath away. Yes, she smiled! She was smiling at me._

_Somehow, that smile melted the invisible ice that froze me to that spot. After all, it was such a warm smile that gave me a sort of courage booster to approach her. Great! Just what I need… which was weird. Why would I feel afraid of approaching her?_

_"__Your hair is really beautiful, _Onii-san_," she said to me with an innocent smile as soon as I approached her underneath the _sakura_ tree. Her words, however, were enough to catch me off-guard._

_I couldn't figure out what to say to that. I mean, the first thing she noticed was my hair? How funny could that get?_

_"__It's really blue, like the ocean. Or I guess yours is more of a navy blue than ocean blue," she murmured with her finger on her chin as she continued to look at me with tilted head. "But… it's still blue. That's why I like it."_

_At that point, I smiled. I couldn't tell what made me feel something in my heart. It was welling up with so much… happiness, I think. I don't know._

_And then I noticed the paper she was folding. All the scattered papers around her were colored blue._

_"__Is blue your favorite color?" This time, I finally found my voice and asked her that question._

_The girl nodded. "I really like blue, that's why I'm using blue-colored paper to make paper cranes for __Onii-sama__. After all, one of the meanings of the color blue is hope, right? I really hope _Onii-sama _will get well soon. I don't want him to be sick all the time."_

_So I guess I was wrong at one point. Her smile hid a lot of what she was actually feeling for her older brother's situation. And I couldn't find the right words to comfort her in my own way. For one, I didn't even know who her brother was. Second, it still felt a little awkward talking to her even though she was younger than me. I couldn't tell why but it felt that way._

_"Ojou-chan__, how old are you?" was the first question that I blurted out after that contemplation. I just felt asking it. I probably did so out of curiosity._

_"__I'm 6 years old, born December 25. Most people call me Christmas Girl because of that," she answered sheepishly and smiled knowingly. She probably saw the surprised look on her face. "I know I look like an 8-year-old girl because of my height. But I'm telling the truth about my age, _Onii-san_." And she even raised her right hand as if she was making an oath to me or something._

_I smiled at her for some reason. The same warmth I felt a while back welled up in me again. Her innocence… should I blame this feeling to her? So she was a 6-year-old girl, huh? That means she was four years younger than me._

_"__You're playing tennis, _Onii-san_?"_

_I nodded and eyed my tennis bag with a proud smile._

_"__So that means you want to be a professional tennis player in the future?"_

_"__Yes, so I can beat my rival one day."_

_She frowned. "Rival?"_

_"__He was my friend who's admitted to this hospital. His skill in tennis is so amazing that I couldn't even take one game from him. Every time I score a point, he would always take it back." And I wasn't lying. That friend of mine was even stronger than Tezuka—in every way. "His skills in tennis was no joke, of that I'm sure of. And I won't be surprised if he became a pro at an early age. He's really an amazing tennis player."_

_But I realized that Christmas Girl (sorry, but I had to call her like that for now since I didn't even know her name) was just looking at me again. I couldn't help feeling embarrassed. I kept saying how good my friend was in tennis when I haven't thought of the issue whether or not she would understand whatever it was that I was saying or not._

_"__I guess I'm just talking nonsense here, huh?"_

_To my surprise, however, she gently shook her head and smiled at me lovingly, as if saying that she was saying that she totally understood…_

_…__that she was proud of me. _

_That smile did something more than taking my breath away. It also made my heart beat fast—No… wild would be the perfect word to describe my heart beat right now._

_With that smile on her face, she handed the blue paper crane she folded a while back to me. It was neatly folded, I must say, for a 6-year-old kid. Reluctantly, I took it from her hand._

_"__Why are you giving this me?" I could only ask that to her._

_"__It embodies my wish for you, _Onii-san_."_

_Well, her words didn't only surprise me but it was also still vague to me. She just smiled at me and stood up. She was about to walk away when I did something unexpected. I grabbed her wrist out of impulse. That means, I only realized what I'd done a little too late. But I couldn't afford to let her go. At least not yet…_

_"__What's wrong, _Onii-san_?" she asked innocently as she tilted her head on one side. If you asked me, she really looked cute that way._

_I shrugged that thought out of my head. Geez! What the hell was wrong with me to think something like that? "What do you mean by what you said?"_

_For a while, silence surrounded us both. I couldn't understand but the look she was giving me right now made me feel something different toward this girl. I didn't know what to think. I wanted to understand what was going on with me. But how was I supposed to do that?_

_"Onii-sama__… told me a lot about you," she said that broke the silence between us._

_Onii-sama?__ Does her brother happen to be someone I know?_

_"__Hitoshi-_oniisama_… was the tennis friend and rival you were talking about a while ago, right? _Onii-sama_ has the same goal as you. To be a professional tennis player one day…"_

_Now that made sense. So she was the sister of my friend Shinomiya Hitoshi who—_

_Wait a minute! How come Hitoshi didn't even tell me he had a little sister? And to think she was this beautiful, too…_

_"__What's your name, _ojou-chan_?" I asked instead—albeit a little hesitant if it was the right move._

_"__Kourin. Shinomiya Kourin."_

_"__Why are you giving this to me, Kourin-_chan_? Isn't this the paper crane that you're making for your brother?"_

_"__Didn't I tell you? That paper crane embodies my wish for you. A wish that someday, you'll be able to fulfill your dreams."_

_I blinked at her words. Not only that, I was surprised, as well. I guess it was because of that surprise I felt that made me release her wrist I was holding the entire time._

_"__Everything I said to you is true. One day, I want to see you soar tha sky of your dreams freely just like that crane. I used a blue paper to fold it into a crane. You know what the color blue means, right? Blue represents hope. That's why I want you to hope for a better future as you soar that sky which holds all of those dreams and hope that you have in your heart. I know you can do that. After all, you are Yukimura Seiichi-_san_, right?"_

_Now, I really don't know what to think or even what to say to that. I couldn't believe it. A 6-year-old really said those words that made me feel something mysteriously warm inside my chest for the first time in my life. It was a different kind of warmth—far different than anything I've ever felt so far._

_Just what in the world could this mean?_

_"__You really… believe I can do that?" I asked her in a soft tone, still looking at her intently. I couldn't stop looking at her now._

_She smiled at me once more and let out an agreeing sound as she nodded once. "I believe in it… more than anything. And besides, you're a great person, Yukimura-san. I know you can do it…"_

**-x-x-**

Now that I thought about it, I guess I'd held on to those words tighter than I thought. She believed in me—that I could one day fulfill my dreams. She knew I could do it… more than anything. And I thought it was her encouragement that made me reach what I had achieved now.

**_Miss you, miss you so much_**

**_Because I miss you so much_**

I looked around the tennis courts. It was already near-empty. The practice that day ended early much to our confusion. Nanasaki-_buchou_ rarely ended our tennis practices early. But he later explained to us the reason. Our weekend practices would be much longer and harsher than ever in preparation for the Kantou Finals three weeks from now. Nanasaki-_buchou_ and Hirota-_fukubuchou_ would still be busy preparing the training menus for tomorrow along with _buchou_'s sister and the team manager Hotaru. The early dismissal was just for us to rest in order to prepare for it. After all, a good rest is essential for a good performance.

I was supposed to leave as early as I could so that I could head out to the rooftop garden. But before I could even take one step, Nanasaki-_buchou _called for me. I raised an eyebrow because of that.

Was he going to scold me again? I wasn't slacking off or even zoning out during practice a while back, right? Was I in trouble? No, I doubt that.

As it turned out, I wasn't the only one who was called. Even Sanada and Yanagi were called, as well. Niou and the others decided to wait for the two, for some reasons unexplained. But that wasn't what bothered me at this moment.

"Is there something wrong, _buchou_?" Well, it was for the best that I asked what was wrong, right?

To my confusion, though, he shook his head as an answer. "I just want to remind you guys to head here tomorrow at 5 AM. I'm going to need your help about the equipments."

"You bought new tennis equipments to replace the sabotaged ones, _buchou_?"

"No. The tennis equipments I'm talking about actually belonged to a family friend. She told me two days ago that we could use those, though they were slightly used and she doesn't want those equipments to rot in her house. No one's using them, anyway. She already had the principal and the headmaster's approval about using them so we don't have to worry."

"Miyako suggested that, am I right?" Miyako was the only person I know at this point that was generous (or hurting enough) to give away her tennis equipments.

"Well, she most likely forced us to have it. Her reasons as to why was that has a point, though," Hotaru answered my question.

At least, that explained it.

The rest of the conversation didn't register that much in my mind. Well, my thoughts went somewhere else… again. I couldn't do anything about it. But _buchou_ would scold me if I zoned out again. Sheesh! I hated it when I have zoning attacks like this, especially in the middle of an important meeting.

Luckily, I still caught bits and the last part of the meeting before someone noticed me zoning out again. Why was I so noticeable at this point of time, anyway? Was it really that weird of me to be like that? Was my smile not enough to disguise what I was really thinking?

**_Everyday all by myself_**

**_Calling and calling you_**

**-x-x-**

_"__You can do it, Seiichi-_san_!"_

_Despite feeling my energy draining away from me, I stood up and faced my opponent on the other side of the court. Yes, I was having a tennis match against Kourin's brother once again, determined to defeat the only person I couldn't beat all this time. Hitoshi was really strong… and amazing. I won't deny that._

_Each time Hitoshi and I played, I always ended up beaten. And each time, I could say that I progressed—at least a bit. Now I could take as far as 5 games from him. That's how strong my friend was, despite the sickness that was slowly killing him. He could go pro, but that sickness bound him to do so._

_For that reason, he made me promise something… about Kourin. It happened one ordinary day during one of our matches, but until now, I hadn't given him my answer to it yet._

_With the score of 7 games to 5, I lost to Hitoshi… again. But it was okay by me. For what reason? Kourin cheered for me instead of her brother. Weird, huh? And I felt elated because of that._

_"__Here," Kourin said while handing out two cans of drinks. "Which will it be, juice or iced tea?"_

_Those simple gestures were enough to dissipate my frustration over my loss almost instantly. Her cheers contributed to that, as well. I took the iced tea and we sat together on that bench._

_"__You're really amazing, Seiichi-_san_…" she suddenly said that caught me off-guard and made me face her with a slightly surprised expression. I couldn't help smiling a little bit sheepishly no matter how strained it could have been._

_"__I'm not amazing like your brother, though." Stating that, however, made me feel a bit ashamed of myself. I've been trying to beat my rival for a long time but it felt like I wasn't progressing that much at all. It made me feel that I wasn't good enough for… her. And for that reason, I looked away._

_I had no idea what effect those words could give me in the future… as long as I hadn't defeated my rival in an outright challenge to beat him in the official game. But right now, it didn't matter._

_"__Well, to me, you are."_

_Did my ears deceive me? Did I hear it all too well?_

_Slowly, I faced her with one hell of a confused expression stuck on my face. At least, I knew that. Not only that, my heart was hammering inside my chest like crazy because of what she said. I didn't know how or why but her words felt so much more than I could ever think of._

_All this time since we became friends, since we met underneath that __sakura__ tree, she usually said things that would cause my heart to beat wildly. Her simple and caring gestures would always bring warmth in my chest. Her smile made everything feel so heavenly. Her cheers for me would give me undeniable strength that I never thought I would find (at least not fully) inside of me._

_In a short span of time, she became someone so special to me in so many ways. She really had done so much for me._

_Kourin was the one whom I should consider amazing and not the other way around. I should be the one saying those words and not her._

_"__One day, I know you can be an even more amazing person that _Onii-sama_. Even he told me so. You just have to believe it will happen… that you can be that kind of person…"_

_But how was that even possible? How was I supposed to be like that when I couldn't even beat someone stronger than me?_

_"__You doubt what I'm saying, do you?"_

_"__N-no!" Somehow, my answer came out a bit rash. And right now, I was feeling nervous for some reasons. _

_The look on her eyes, however, told me that she clearly knew I was lying. I looked away before she could even notice my face. I could feel it getting hotter by the minute. And I wouldn't be surprised if I was blushing at that very moment._

_I hated it when I was like that, especially in front of her…_

**-x-x-**

"Yukimura-_kun_."

I was snapped from my thoughts because of those words. When I looked up, I saw several worried-looking faces focused on me. I saw _buchou_'s look. I found it weird, though. His face wasn't blank like how I used to see it to him. He eyed me like the way he would at Hotaru—at least at that time. He eyed me like a caring brother he was.

I gave a small bow and said my apologies for spacing out again.

**_Want to see you, want to see you_**

**_Because I want to see you so much_**

"Don't be late tomorrow. For now, you go ahead. I'll relay the details of the rest of the meeting to your e-mail."

Of course, what _buchou _said gave me a surprise. He wasn't angry, that much I could tell. But for what reason? I chose to follow what he said and separated ways with the rest of the team.

As I had originally planned, I headed straight to the rooftop garden. I went there as fast as I could. Though the garden had so many flowers planted there, I only headed to a certain spot. One particular flower grew there beautifully as such that made me remember a lot again.

This time, I smiled as I remembered it. Weird as it might seem, but it was a memory that reminded me of what could have cost me about something. Of course, I truly regretted that it didn't actually happen because of… a few interruptions…

**-x-x-**

_It was Christmas time. A season filled with joy and hope for the coming New Year. Christmas trees, snow, presents, and of course, mistletoes. But that day was particularly special—Christmas day. That means, it was also Kourin's birthday. Her 8th birthday, that is._

_The second one that she got to celebrate with me._

_For some reasons, Hitoshi told me to have a stroll downtown with Kourin. He said that it was his sister's request that I accompany her. Of course, I was surprised. And to think she would specifically request for me when she could have her friends to accompany her._

_Well, I did what Hitoshi want me to do in the end. After all, it was a great opportunity. I didn't know why but for some reasons I couldn't explain, I had this bad feeling in me about all this. My time with Kourin…_

_They felt so… final._

_I didn't want to think of anything else at that moment, though. I enjoyed every moment I had with her. I did everything to make it memorable to both of us. It was Christmas Day, after all. Besides, it was also her birthday._

_While eating our snacks at the park, I decided to stop by first at the flower shop. It took me a lot of time to think of a perfect flower to give to Kourin. As soon as I thought of it, I immediately headed out to the flower shop. I know the moment I bought that particular flower that it was the perfect one for her. If only she could tell that it also defined one of the things that I truly felt for her…_

_"__Forget-me-nots?"_

_I nodded when I handed it over to her. I thought she won't take it basing on the incredulous look she was giving to me. "I don't have any gifts to give to you today. But I hope you'll like this, though I'm not sure about that…"_

_I knew I was just talking to myself. But for some reason, I was totally unsure. Seriously, this girl could make me feel this way. Only this girl could do this to me. What was even weird, I was okay with it… as long as she would be the only one who would do it. I only wanted her to make me like this, to bring out a side of me I never knew I had._

_I only wanted her to bring out the real me._

_"__Thank you, Seiichi-_san_…" she said gratefully and gently with a smile as she took the flower from my hand. _

_Our hands touched, giving me a sort of electrifying sensation that coursed its way through my veins. I wasn't sure if she noticed it, though. How I wished she did… so I wasn't the only one feeling this way. _

_"__I really like it."_

_To my surprise, however, I saw tears streaked down her cheeks which caused me to panic. What went wrong? Did I do something bad? But something different and totally unexpected happened. She threw herself to me and cried there._

_What in the world was going on?_

_"__Kourin-_chan_?" I sighed inwardly after her name slipped out of my mouth. For a long time, since the day I met her, I've always wanted to call her name without putting honorifics beside it as I mentioned it. But that would be a little rude, right? "Are you okay? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"_

_"__I don't want to say goodbye to you, Seiichi-_san_…"_

_Say goodbye? What for? "W-what are you talking about?"_

_"__After New Year's Day, my family will be moving to America. We might be staying there for 10 years or so. But I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave this place. I don't want to leave you, most of all," she answered in between cries._

_I froze at her words. I didn't know it would come to this. Why did it have to happen now?_

_"__D-don't cry, Kourin-_chan_…" Yeah, right. Great advice, Seiichi. I was saying to her that she mustn't cry while I was about to cry, as well. What a great way to advising something to myself. I don't want to say goodbye to her but what could I do? Stop her family from letting her leave?_

_Impossible! Totally crazy!_

_But could I let her leave like that? Could I allow her to leave me? Selfish as it might have sounded, but that was how I felt. I didn't want her to leave._

_"__I don't want to leave, Seiichi-_san_…" was her constant cries to me. But it was all enough to make me feel sad long before I realized what was happening. Her cries also clenched my heart tight that I felt like I couldn't breathe._

_I returned her tight embrace to me in the same degree. I smiled at that, though, despite the tinge of sadness in it. She was embracing me as if afraid to let me go altogether. It felt so warm._

_"__I guess it was the right gift to give you, after all."_

_No words came out. Instead, she slowly released me from her embrace and looked at me. "What do you mean?"_

_"__Forget-me-nots… That's the name of the flower I gave you, right?"_

_She nodded._

_"__Just do that. Just do what the flower's name exactly meant. And I tell you, no matter where you are, I'll always be with you. They might just be few, but the moments we shared together will always be with you. I promise." At least, I was confident to say that. For what reason? I would do the same thing. I would do it constantly… until the day she came back here and at least look for me._

_"__Will you really promise… not to forget me?" Her voice sounded a lot like hopeful, though._

_I smiled at her—the best I could muster. I didn't want her to get sad even more than this, after all._

_"__I promise."_

_But I didn't know how it all happened. I just found myself nearing my face to hers as I touched her cheek. I couldn't stop myself, I felt like I have no control over my body._

_I didn't know if I could consider it a good thing or a bad thing, but both of our cell phones rang simultaneously. It was more than enough to break the trance surrounding us. I could see her face turned into a darker shade of pink as she looked away from me. I knew I was the same._

_Just great! What nice ways of interrupting a really good moment. (And I might add that it would've been an extremely wonderful moment if it wasn't for the interruption.) I couldn't help sighing dejectedly._

_Hitoshi called Kourin for some reason and later made her agitated that had gotten those two into another petty argument._

_While Sanada called just to greet me a Merry Christmas._

_If only I could say that it wasn't a merry occasion anymore._

_How could this day get any worse?_

_But then I thought…_

_…__how far could we have gone if no interruptions ensued?_

_Could I have told her the truth? Would the kiss even happen? What would she say if I had just told her what I truly feel for her?_

**-x-x-**

**_Now it's like a habit_**

**_Keep calling out your name_**

How I strongly wished I told her the truth, even though the moment was totally ruined. How I wished I told her everything, and not just to remember me and our memories. How I wished I've done all that… so that I wouldn't have ended up regretting and thinking a lot of "what if" scenarios.

But I didn't.

**_It's the same today_**

And I would never be able to do so… ever again.

I would never have that chance now.

**-x-x-**

_"Ne__, Seiichi-_san_, can I ask you something?"_

_"__As long as I can answer it, of course."_

_"__Don't' worry, you have all the time in the world to think about the answer to this question."_

_"__What do you mean?" I couldn't help frowning at her words. Was there such a question where you have all the time in the world to think about the answer, as she said it?_

_"__You really want to beat my brother in tennis, right?"_

_I nodded, of course, despite the confusion over the situation._

_"__But have you… found that special strength to beat him?"_

_Have I? No, I guess I haven't found it yet. But what does that had to do with anything? What was she really trying to ask to me?_

_"__I don't know if you have heard this quote before, but… _Onii-sama_ once said this one to me. 'To win against an opponent stronger than yourself, you must not be weaker than that opponent.'_***** _To be honest, I don't know how to interpret that until now. But he said that people have a type of inner strength that's completely unique to them—one that let you not become weaker than your opponent. When you find that kind of strength within you, you'll find yourself as a stronger person no matter the basis of true strength. Strength is something that you find within you and only you can utilize it or take it away from yourself." And then she laughed. It was a heartful one, no matter how short._

_I could've laughed, as well. Except I didn't. To be honest, I wanted to understand. But right now, with the state I was in, I guess I won't be able to do so._

_"__Pretty confusing, huh?"_

_"__You can say that again. But I expect no less from Hitoshi. His words always have a lot of meaning no matter how simple or casual he said them."_

_"__Seiichi-_san_, can you promise me something?" she asked to me solemnly after that. It had taken me aback even if it was just for a short time._

_"__About what?"_

_"__The next time we meet… Maybe four or five years from now… Will you become one of the best tennis players in Japan?"_

_Huh? What was she talking about?_

_"__At that time, when the time comes that we meet again, I'll become one of the best, as well. It's either I'll become half as good as you are in tennis or I'll become a young detective, probably half as good as my cousin. I just want to anticipate something the next time we meet again. Can you promise me that? Maybe that way, we'll both find the answer to that quote within ourselves. Four or five years is enough for us to do that, right?"_

_I didn't know. Would I become the best by that time? It wasn't that I doubted my ability. I knew I could do it. But in four or five years? Would I be able to wait for her that long?_

_But then I thought, she was right. Maybe it was better that we anticipate something while we wait and do our best until that time comes. At least, something could change, right?_

_"__Can you promise me that, Seiichi-_san_?" she asked once again._

_I looked at her intently as soon as I heard it. I didn't know why, but I really couldn't get enough of looking at her sapphire blue eyes. They really sparkles like… sapphires._

_"__I promise." And it was a promise I'd fulfill with all of my heart whatever happens from then on._

**-x-x-**

But why did you have to lie to me, Kourin? You told me we'd meet again after four years or so. You told me you'd become the best in your chosen field by that time. I did my part of the bargain. Why didn't you do yours? I didn't want to add the word "liar" to your name but… why?

Why did you have to leave me without saying goodbye? Why did you have you break your promise? Why did I end up losing you? Why did I become a coward to tell you I love you two years ago?

**_I thought I'd let go_**

**_Not leaving anything behind_**

I could've…

No, I should've told you the truth about how I love you two years ago. Forget about the fact that you were four years younger than me. Forget about the fact that you were my best friend/rival's little sister. Forget about the fact that, in a way, we were worlds apart.

Screw all that! Just forget all of that! I just loved you too much. Wasn't that enough? Wasn't that enough for you to come back to me? Stop these tears from falling even more… Please, I'm begging you…

Just come back to me…

I've held on to our promise, Kourin. And it wasn't even four years that had passed yet. So why didn't you do your part? Tell me these were all nightmares…

Tell me this wasn't reality at all…

**_No, no_**

**_Now I still can't let you go_**

**-x-x-**

_"Onii-chan__, have you heard the news?"_

_"__What news?" That was when I raised my head from what I was sketching to my sketchpad. I frowned and got worried at the same time when I saw the expression of my sister Mihiro. "Mi-_chan_? What's wrong?"_

_"__They didn't make it alive."_

_My mind felt like it turned blank. They? Could she be talking about… "What?"_

_"__Hitoshi-_san_ and the others… His entire family and other relatives… They were massacred in their mansion last night. _Onii-chan_, it's already in the news…"_

**-x-x-**

Tell me I didn't lose you like that. Please tell me you were still alive. Please, just tell me that. I didn't want to lose you like that. I didn't want to lose you in any way at all.

Please…

Please just do that to me… Kourin…

**_Miss you, miss you so much_**

**_Because I miss you so much_**

Just do that and I won't ever let go. I would proudly show to the world how much I love you, how much I was willing to fight for me. I would do all that just to prove to them that it was you I would love this much.

But you lied to me in the end. Did you have any idea how much pain it inflicted on me? How could you leave me like that? How could you?!

**-x-x-**

"_No one… survived? Not even one?"_

"_As far as everyone could tell, no one could possibly survive from that kind of onslaught so devastating that the police were having a hard time identifying the culprits responsible for that. With that many dead bodies scattered inside that estate and with their bodies burned, the police doubted that someone had escaped from that attack, Onii-chan…"_

**-x-x-**

I remembered that at that moment, with that one news, I felt everything around me faded. Everything had lost its meaning. All I could do was to scream in agony at the top of my lungs and cry nonstop. But for some reason, I couldn't scream her name at all. I couldn't scream Kourin's name out loud.

At that time, I couldn't…

**_Every day, all by myself_**

**_Calling and calling you_**

It was my heart—my broken and now fragile heart—that had screamed it for me. Each scream shattered it slowly to pieces. The pain she gave me was unbearable that I wished I should've been dead the moment I heard the news. Could this be the world and fate telling me that you would never be meant for me, Kourin? Could this be its cruel way of letting me know that?

I had no idea how long I cried in front of the forget-me-nots. My tears watered those flowers every time whenever I go there and inevitably remember her. And every time, those flowers had constantly reminded me a lot about her. Besides the blue paper crane that she gave me, the forget-me-nots helped me keep her alive—in my memories.

I could keep her alive in my heart that had always loved her and no one else…

**_Want to see you, want to see you_**

**_Because I want to see you so much_**

The blue paper crane—the first item that she gave me and what had started our friendship 5 years ago…

And the forget-me-nots—the last item that I gave her and what had made us say our goodbyes and "see you after four years" message two years ago…

The first and the last—the boundaries of the special memories that I had with her…

Finally, I managed to stop my tears from falling even more… for now.

**_Now it's like I have this habit_**

**_Keep calling out your name_**

**_It's the same today_**

I sat in front of the forget-me-nots and stared at it blankly. But my hand subconsciously looked for another paper in my jersey pocket. No, it wasn't the paper crane. It was something else.

And it constantly reminded me of my cowardice to confess to her back then.

The item was actually a letter—one that I hadn't given to her before she left to America. Now I wonder, if I really gave it to her back then… If I had gathered the courage to talk to her and tell her the truth, would I regret a lot of things now? Would I cry like this because of her?

I unfolded the letter with no haste. No, I wasn't afraid or reluctant of opening it. I just… felt like it. But it didn't make me feel better at all. Every word in that two-year-old letter was making me even sadder and depressed that I ever was a while back.

**_Every day, everyday_**

**_It feels like I'm gonna die_**

**_What should I do?_**

_Kourin-__chan__,_

_I know it's weird for me to write a letter to you at this point. But I can't really say it all in phone. And I definitely couldn't say it to you personally considering the effect that you had in me. Besides, I have no guts to say it all out in one go. So I hope you'll at least pay attention to what I've written here. After all this is all for you._

_I met you when you were six, I was only ten back then. I'm just slightly younger that your Hitoshi-__oniisama__ and my childhood friend Sanada. From the first time I met you, you're already a bubbly and cheerful person. Your smile was always filled with sunshine, always giving hope—at least to me. And whenever you're sad, I tried to do my best to cheer you up because it always pains me to see you crying or hurt. It's been like that even if it's just for a few years. You know what? I would continue doing that even though you're not here with me anymore. I should've said this to you before but I guess I was never given the chance to do so, or maybe I let it slip away. But I'm willing to wait for you no matter how long it takes for me to do so. Did you know? There's one big reason why I stated that I'll wait for you… even though I know I would be giving up for some reason. Four or five years is still too long, after all. But here's my promise to you. As long as I have the blue paper crane that you gave me the day you first talked to me, I won't let go. Not even once._

_I love you. I don't exactly know how you would react to this. It's quite shocking, and I know that. But I really want you to know how I exactly feel for you. I couldn't keep it any longer. Ever since I realized that I love you more than a friend, more than a little sister, everything around me changed a whole lot for the better. And since the day you left Japan without me even telling what I feel for you, you just keep on appearing in my mind. My heart was calling your name over and over. It keeps on calling "Kourin-__chan__" nonstop. You're like a ghost. You've been haunting me all this time… ever since you left._

_I wish you never left, Kourin-__chan__. I don't care about the reasons. I just wish you never left. Because then, I wouldn't feel this emptiness here in my heart as if you took a part of it when you left. I wanted to get it back but I asked myself, "Why should I? Why should I get something back that I unconsciously gave to you the day I realized I love you?" I just couldn't get it back. I know it's weird for me saying all of this to you considering our age gap and all. But all that I've written here was the truth. I love you and nothing will ever change that._

_Given the chance, I could prove myself and I'm going to just for you. What I did to make you happy, cheer you up, and befriend you so you wouldn't feel alone—it was all for you, Kourin-__chan__. Everything I do, everything I am, everything I stand for—all for you. At the moment, it just felt like that. One day, in the near future, even if it means I have to give up my life trying to prove my love for you, I'm willing to do it with all of my strength, all of my heart._

_I'm sorry that I couldn't say I love you in person since… Well, I couldn't. Not unless you would want me to go to where you are but I know you wouldn't let me. At least not yet. Whether you give me your answer immediately after reading this letter or after a few more years, I don't care. Like I said, I will wait for you. Forever, if you want to. In addition to that, I'll do what I had promised you. The next time we meet, I'll become one of the best tennis players in Japan—one that you can be proud of, I hope. So until that day, I want you to do your best, as well. We'll meet each other the day we have fulfilled our promise to each other._

_Before I end this, I want to let you know for the last time that I love you. I think about you day and night. I'm so glad that I've met a person like you even for just once in my life and you've made it the loveliest one to live._

_I'll wait for you, okay?_

_-Seiichi-_

Now that I thought about it, I wonder what could've happen to the two of us if I had told the whole truth to Kourin. Would she accept it or would she refuse it? Would it separate us even further if I told her the truth?

This story was one with a definite sad ending—one that brought me so much pain and grief. One that made me loses all the colors of my world. I couldn't bring her back to me—except in my memories. But I couldn't just live in it.

**_Love you, love you_**

**_I love you_**

Yes, it was the only place where I could still keep her alive in my heart. But I knew I was being greedy if I said it wasn't enough. I wanted to continue wishing, even though my wish was impossible. I wanted to continue hoping, no matter how hopeless the situation could be. I wanted to think of all the possibilities, no matter what the world said to me about how impossible it would be.

Hoping for a miracle to happen—I could only do as much.

**_I hadn't even spoken the words_**

**_I just let you go_**

I'd keep on hoping that one day, in some place, some time, I could see her again. Be with her again. Let our paths cross again.

Maybe that way, it could happen. Maybe a miracle would definitely work. Maybe this hope that I have in my heart could definitely bring her back to me. Maybe all of these wishful thinkings could create a new path for it to happen. Maybe destiny could work its way to bring her back to me in any ways possible.

**_Sorry, sorry_**

**_Do you hear my words?_**

Yeah… maybe one day, all of it would surely come true.

And until that day, I'd hold on to all of these memories you gave me, Kourin. I won't let go of the hope in me to bring you back to my life.

I won't let go… ever.

That's because I knew, deep in my heart, we're meant to be together. And you'd always be my one true love… just as how the forget-me-nots truly meant in the language of flowers.

**_My late confession_**

**_Can you hear it?_**

God, please fulfill my wish… That's my one greatest hope and prayer to you. Just let it happen and I won't ever let it go.

Please…

**_I love you…_**

**-x-x-**

***This quote actually came from Nanoha in "Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Strikers" manga.**

**I know I've made Yukimura OOC in this one. But then again, the idea of writing this one actually came to me when I thought about his possible reasons for playing tennis other than "tennis is my life" answer of his all the time. So then I thought that maybe if he made a promise to someone that he will do his best in tennis—someone who was extremely important to him, then it could be a possible drive for him to be able to be the best in it regardless of his means of achieving it.**

**Am I making sense here? I guess not.**

**Anyway, I've been listening to several sad songs while writing this. You want to know the full list of it?**

**1… "Winter Love" by BoA Kwon (Japanese)**

**2… "How Can I Not Love You?" by Joy Enriquez (English… not sure if it's OPM or not. I'll still research on this one.)**

**3… "It Has To Be You" by Yesung of Super Junior (Korean)**

**4… "Waiting" by BoA Kwon (Korean)**

**5… "Only Person" by BoA Kwon (Korean)**

**6… "In Another Lifetime" by Gary Valenciano (English OPM)**

**7… "Let The Pain Remain" by Side A (English OPM)**

**8… "I Need You Here To Stay" by Jeremiah (English OPM)**

**9… "Everlasting" by BoA Kwon (Japanese)**

**10… "Getting Over You" by Juris Fernandez (English OPM)**

**11… "Back In Time" by Lyn (OST of the Korean drama "The Moon That Embraces The Sun")**

**12… "The One And Only You" by Kim Soo Hyun (OST of the Korean drama "The Moon That Embraces The Sun")**

**13… "Because I Miss You" by Jung Yong Hwa (OST from the Korean drama "You've Fallen For Me / Heartstrings")**

**14… "Until I Find You Again" by Jim Brickman (English)**

**15… "Until I Get Over You" by Christina Millan (English)**

**16… "Why Can't It Be?" by Gino Padilla (English OPM)**

**17… "Will You Wait For Me?" by Kavana (English)**

**18… "If You Love Me More" by Ryeowook of Super Junior (Korean)**

**19… "Coagulation" by Super Junior (Korean)**

**20… "What If" by Nina (English OPM [?])**

**21… "Memories" by Super Junior KRY (Korean)**

**22… "Never Had A Dream Come True" by S Club 7**

**There's a lot of them, right? But the one featured in the story is entitled "Because I Miss You" by Jung Yong Hwa, though I've only put the English translation for the benefit of the readers since this is an ENGLISH fanfiction.**

**Read and review! **


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